No advice, stories, warnings for now. Question though. The first time you re-established intimacies after knowing your wife was expecting...was that weird for you? I remember thinking I needed to be careful, among other things, like, can this kid grab hold of things yet? Anyone else experience this weird phenomenon?
Then there was this weird notion that somehow my wife was a mutant who could spawn other beings within her. I know that's crazy but the thought was basically, "Ok, so as I understand it, there's someone in there?" Like she was the host and the aliens were going to one day rise up and attack me. Actually, that is pretty much what happened.
While babies are born with that natural grip reflex when you put your finger in their palm I think you guys think MORE of yourselves than you ought. The mental change comes when you realize, "Dude, this is someone's mom."
hodge said... there is a moment after birth that is indescribable. its a new type of love that you have never experienced...also, you will loose hours of your life just watching your child...there is a reason for the lack of "relations" for 6-8 weeks after birth. i believe it takes that long to lose the images of a vaginal birth...get all in during the second tri-mester.
Hodge - if Northpoint doesn't work out, you have a future in greeting cards ... I saw something on the Man Show once where they said you may want to be careful where you stand during the birth of your child unless you want to "be cursed for the rest of your life with the indellible image of your wife's ****** looking like a bloody catcher's mitt."
For that, I apologize. But hey, father of 2 C-Sections here so what do I know.
I think Jebo has touched on something odd as well - there is that "do you know what your mom just did?" kind of thing. Mr. Loyd of my AP English days would invoke something Oedipal here.
Re-establishment of intimacy was not a problem for me....as I probably have a better grasp of the anatomy (internal) than most. The uterus is actually separated from the vagina by the cervix....which is rarely (if ever) bypassed by one's manhood. Since the baby is developing in the uterus....and there is a door of sorts separating the little one from the vagina....it never crossed my mind that it might stick a hand through the door to check for rain. On another note....the sex with a mom thing hadn't crossed my mind yet...until now....thanks alot. On the other hand, when the mom is as hot as my wife....probably still won't be a problem.
There is a paradox to know that the same one who is hauling the kids and doing all the mom stuff is also the one getting funky like a monkey. (to borrow from the American Dream) The other thing, this unfortunate, is those funky like a monkey moments become less frequent and you go, "what happened to the wild and crazy you?" The answer now has his own room and is taking more money from your paycheck than Uncle Sam.
But you know being serious for a moment, I just paid my bills and once again wondered how in the hell I am ever going to survive financially, particularly with private school on the horizon ... and we're sitting here watching Thomas the Tank Engine while my boy gnoshes on muffins and my girl is painting her finger nails and holding her baby doll, and I think, I am so thankful for this 'force-placed selfish living remover.' Aside from the experiences which are a dozen a day and the thrill of watching them grow on many levels, the overall sense of purpose is overwhelmingly clear. That is invaluable.
On that note, Annie just got up and did a little jig, then ran over and sat on Tucker.
I like what Toom said about kids being "force-placed selfish living removers." In many ways marriage confronts our selfishness. My time becomes our time. My money, our money. My choices, our choices. But in the end, husband and wife are adults with reason, understanding, and shared benefit in the sharing.
Even moreso, children reveal again how full of self we really are. This little blessing is devoid of reason and understanding and is completely and utterly dependent on you for survival and training and great patience and personal sacrifice. But it all pales in comparison to the joy and wonder graciously given to us.
In 3 ways I find children a blessing like no other. 1. That God chose me and gave me this gift and the joy and responsibility that goes along with it. 2. That He would refine me and purge me of self in the process. 3. That He would use this child to more clearly reveal to me the nature of the relationship between a father/Father and a child.
12 comments:
No advice, stories, warnings for now. Question though. The first time you re-established intimacies after knowing your wife was expecting...was that weird for you? I remember thinking I needed to be careful, among other things, like, can this kid grab hold of things yet? Anyone else experience this weird phenomenon?
Then there was this weird notion that somehow my wife was a mutant who could spawn other beings within her. I know that's crazy but the thought was basically, "Ok, so as I understand it, there's someone in there?" Like she was the host and the aliens were going to one day rise up and attack me. Actually, that is pretty much what happened.
I had the same weird thought....but it was closer to the end when I knew his hands were developed.
While babies are born with that natural grip reflex when you put your finger in their palm I think you guys think MORE of yourselves than you ought.
The mental change comes when you realize, "Dude, this is someone's mom."
Nice Jebo.....you just ruined sex for the rest of my life....good job..
hodge said...
there is a moment after birth that is indescribable. its a new type of love that you have never experienced...also, you will loose hours of your life just watching your child...there is a reason for the lack of "relations" for 6-8 weeks after birth. i believe it takes that long to lose the images of a vaginal birth...get all in during the second tri-mester.
Hodge - if Northpoint doesn't work out, you have a future in greeting cards ... I saw something on the Man Show once where they said you may want to be careful where you stand during the birth of your child unless you want to "be cursed for the rest of your life with the indellible image of your wife's ****** looking like a bloody catcher's mitt."
For that, I apologize. But hey, father of 2 C-Sections here so what do I know.
I think Jebo has touched on something odd as well - there is that "do you know what your mom just did?" kind of thing. Mr. Loyd of my AP English days would invoke something Oedipal here.
Re-establishment of intimacy was not a problem for me....as I probably have a better grasp of the anatomy (internal) than most. The uterus is actually separated from the vagina by the cervix....which is rarely (if ever) bypassed by one's manhood. Since the baby is developing in the uterus....and there is a door of sorts separating the little one from the vagina....it never crossed my mind that it might stick a hand through the door to check for rain. On another note....the sex with a mom thing hadn't crossed my mind yet...until now....thanks alot. On the other hand, when the mom is as hot as my wife....probably still won't be a problem.
There is a paradox to know that the same one who is hauling the kids and doing all the mom stuff is also the one getting funky like a monkey. (to borrow from the American Dream) The other thing, this unfortunate, is those funky like a monkey moments become less frequent and you go, "what happened to the wild and crazy you?" The answer now has his own room and is taking more money from your paycheck than Uncle Sam.
But you know being serious for a moment, I just paid my bills and once again wondered how in the hell I am ever going to survive financially, particularly with private school on the horizon ... and we're sitting here watching Thomas the Tank Engine while my boy gnoshes on muffins and my girl is painting her finger nails and holding her baby doll, and I think, I am so thankful for this 'force-placed selfish living remover.' Aside from the experiences which are a dozen a day and the thrill of watching them grow on many levels, the overall sense of purpose is overwhelmingly clear. That is invaluable.
On that note, Annie just got up and did a little jig, then ran over and sat on Tucker.
I like what Toom said about kids being "force-placed selfish living removers." In many ways marriage confronts our selfishness. My time becomes our time. My money, our money. My choices, our choices. But in the end, husband and wife are adults with reason, understanding, and shared benefit in the sharing.
Even moreso, children reveal again how full of self we really are. This little blessing is devoid of reason and understanding and is completely and utterly dependent on you for survival and training and great patience and personal sacrifice. But it all pales in comparison to the joy and wonder graciously given to us.
In 3 ways I find children a blessing like no other. 1. That God chose me and gave me this gift and the joy and responsibility that goes along with it. 2. That He would refine me and purge me of self in the process. 3. That He would use this child to more clearly reveal to me the nature of the relationship between a father/Father and a child.
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