Growing up I remember thinking that if I was good that God would reward me by keeping me and my family healthy and safe…….I remember that if I did something bad like telling a lie or cussing I would get scared that God would punish me by allowing me or someone I loved to get hurt….I would lay awake at night begging God not to let anything happen to anyone…..that if he would grant me this I would be a good kid……never sin again……witness to Chris Gillis, the kid next door and so on…….and if I did those things God would keep all those around me safe……..I mean he did it for other people……right??……..that’s how it works, isn’t it??? If you’re a “good” Christian…things work out for you ……right??
No…..that’s not how it works….not always at least…..it can and does happen that way sometimes…..but not always…..not by a long shot. I know a guy, well….I’ve met him 3 or 4 times….he’s a friend of a friend….his name is Michael and he has cancer. For the little time I was around him you could tell that Michael is one of those people that God has given the gift of relation. My impression of him was very good…..and everything I know about him from my friends gives credence to that impression. About two and half years ago he felt a knot under his arm and had it checked…it was cancer…..he’s Katrina’s age. The next two years were up and down with treatment and new cancer cells being found…….Michael just had brain surgery to remove a tumor on his brain……and I’m pissed off because the perfect job hasn’t fallen into my lap………………did you hear that…….a job…………….he’s probably going to die and leave a wife and two boys……..and I’m upset that I’m on unemployment………how big of an ass am I? It gets worse…..like a lot of younger people….Michael didn’t have life insurance so if he dies….his family will have to make it without any insurance money.
Now I’m sure you’re thinking…”wow, this story really sucks”…….and you’d be right…..it does suck……..but it doesn’t mean that God doesn’t love Michael….or that Michael or someone in his family did something bad…..it just means that life as a Christian isn’t always roses……in fact, sometimes it’s crap…..so as I laid awake in bed last night unable to get Michael off of my mind I thought about the trials that happen in life…in particular my life….and I thought about how those things have affected my view of God and the thought I had was this……maybe our earthly happiness isn’t all that high on God’s desire list…..that’s not to say that Christians should be afflicted or unhappy or in crisis all the time….but I do think we’re to be challenged in life….and look, I’m not saying that God doesn’t want His children to have happiness in their lives….I’m just saying that maybe our faith and obedience are what he’s most concerned with…..because the fact is….we can have no idea how God works things to His glory…….but that’s what everything is about….His glory. I would be lying if I said I hadn’t felt sorry for myself or asked “why” even in the last week like I’m owed something because I’m a Christian…..I’m not owed anything…..as a matter of fact I should be so, so thankful that I don’t get what I’m owed………… loosing and not being able to find a job quickly can’t even come close to the fear I’m sure Michael and his family are dealing with…….and I would bet money that he is handling his trial better than I’m handling mine……………..
I want to be like Mike….
5 comments:
Good stuff Chris! MC is one of my favorite people. I amazed at what he can pull off with a terminal illness. I have never heard him complain. Thanks for you words.
Thanks, Chris. Honesty. Sincerity. Genuine questions. Entire MEGA-ministries are built on this "Happiness" junk and it only leads to disillusionment, because life, the Christian life is not about that at all.
God's greatest concern is our heart and Christ-likeness, and yes that can bring a cheerful heart, but often it means trials and testing in the refiner's fire.
I will be in prayer for your friend and his family.
Thanks. This really drives home a couple things to me.
#1 - It really sucks to have good circumstances and still be unhappy. Unfortunately, this is me a lot of the time. Because on top of being unhappy, we add guilt for being unhappy to the mix. I don't think we're being good Christians to be unhappy, but I don't think God wants us to feel worse on top of that.
#2 - a friend of mine from school died recently of cancer. He was the most creative person I've ever known, 4 kids, a wife, a ministry. People say, "Geez, that sucks." Well, it does suck, and yet I left the funeral envying him, after seeing all the lives he touched. Yes, I wanted to be a dead guy.
Life is a strange thing.
Raw, real, down and dirty...I love it.
It's funny I was just talking to someone at the office about the same thing the other day. If we look at the examples that God gives us in the Bible of his beloved and try to make a corellation to hapiness and the good life we are going to have a hard time. Let's see, Joseph?...nope. Job?...nope. John the Baptist...ate bugs/beheaded God incarnate?...nope. Peter?...crucified upside down. How about Paul? He was responsible for spreading the gospel to the Gentiles...God had to REALLY like and reward him. Let's see...shipwrecked, prison, thorn in his side, death...nope dosen't work there either.
Well, one thing we know is that there is a colossal difference between hapiness and joy. Joy is a peace beyond all understanding. Why is it beyond understanding because HOW could anyone that is in prison or has terminal cancer experience peace? My guess is because they understand their eternal value to God that has nothing to do with their external circumstances.
How do you get to this place? I know I'm not there. I freak out over much smaller things than losing my job. I do know this, sanctification is not a race it's a long slow process and we are growing when we don't even realize it.
Judging by how you describe him...I want to be like Mike too.
i lurk around here boys once in a while ... this was the best post i've seen yet. (maybe b/c it's the first one i've really understood??)
so raw .. so honest.
i think about this sort of thing a lot ... how could i really EVER be unhappy or not be content.
there is a song out by Mercy Me .. and I'm not sure what the name of it is ... maybe Bring the Rain(?) but it says something just like this ...
if that what it takes to praise you Jesus ... bring the rain.
surprisingly, the times i've felt like i was 'in the rain' were the times i ran to Jesus the most. and the times when the sun is shining .. i feel like i am fine on my own(ha!). i contemplate a lot how i would handle a major life change (sick child/disabled husband) - would i run to God or would i feel a sense of entitlement like ... why would you do this to me God???? i don't 'deserve' it ... oh - let's not discuss what i deserve.
praying for you and Kat.
H
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